Why

Why do I make art? What do I want to accomplish out of Senior Seminar? What do I want to accomplish as an artist?

When I was three years old my parents came to pick me up from preschool when my teacher came up to them and showed them something I’d drawn that day. She compared my drawing to other children’s and explained that I was drawing in enormous detail for a three-year-old; I drew with perspective and included fingers (apparently fingers are a huge deal). My teacher told my parents that I was going to be artist and so for the rest of my life I identified myself as an artist. In late elementary school and all throughout middle school I skipped recess to sit in the art room or just the classroom to draw and draw. I’ve been drawing as long as I can remember because I’m good at it, and it makes me feel good to see something come together and put my thoughts on paper. My friends never hesitated to express how lucky I was to be able to take something out of my head and make a picture out of it instead of having to use words. Although I loved writing as well, I learned quickly that a picture really is worth a thousand words, and I found myself constantly volunteering my artwork for school projects both in the classroom and out. In fact, St. Timothy’s still has a mural I painted in 8^th grade. I’m the only student to ever have painted something on a wall at that school, almost ten years later. Studying art in college was a no-brainer for me, especially since science and math are literally my worst subjects, and no other subject really appealed to me. In retrospect I’ve grown as an artist at CNU because I have become not only an artist, but an art historian, and I find that art history inspires me to create, and creating inspires me to study. I don’t willingly draw or paint like I used to, it’s become more methodical for me, but I hope to change that in Senior Seminar. Unfortunately, as I’ve gone through college I’ve felt a stronger connection to art history than studio art, and my strongest focus for my senior year is in my Art History Senior Seminar and in applying to grad school to study art history. Studio Art Senior Seminar will be the close to my education in the studio, which is sad, but a little relieving at the same time. I don’t feel heavy pressure anymore because it’s the last requirement I need and I feel a load coming off my shoulders more and more as I plan my project. I feel like I am fine tuning myself as an artist while also really separating myself as an artist and myself as an art historian. And while I leave one field of study behind, I intend to use Senior Seminar as source of closure. The artist inside will not die, but through Senior Seminar I want to make studio art fun again so that should grad school overwhelm me, I can fall back on something comfortable and familiar to me. And I hope to ultimately use my education as an artist to support my opinion as an art historian and fortify me as a scholar.